[Yankovic] Eminem interview

Al: Welcome back to AL-TV. Right now, it's time for our exclusive interview with Mr. Marshall Mathers, also known as Eminem, also known as The Real Slim Shady, 
also known as Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot. We'll follow his startling transformation from hardcore Alf fan to hardcore rapper. This is indeed a pleasure. Marshall, welcome to AL-TV. Uh, I'm sorry, should I call you Marshall or Missy?

 

Eminem: Marshall, y'know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Marshall it is then. Hope it wasn't out of line to ask.
Eminem: No, it wasn't, know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I know what you're sayin'. Y'know, I wouldn't want you to be offended.
Eminem: I'm not, y'know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I know what you're sayin'.
Eminem: Y'know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I know what you're sayin'.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I know what you're sayin'.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Yes, I do.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Yes.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Yep.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I know what you're sayin'
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: (becoming agitated) Yeah.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: (increasingly agitated) Yes. Yes.
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: (increasingly agitated) Yes!
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: (increasingly agitated) Yes!
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Yes, I...
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I told ya...
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Look, I said that I...
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: What...
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'? Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: I said I...
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'? Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: (now screaming) SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!
Eminem: Know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Yes! Yes! I know what you're saying, alright?
Eminem: Whatever.
Al: Anyway, thanks for being on the show. Y'know, we, we've had a lot of great guests dropping by. Have you ever met Celine Dion?
Eminem: I have felt like killing her before.
Al: Well, obviously, we all have. Umm, ever felt like killing anybody else?
Eminem: Y'know, most of my family members.
Al: That's nice. Which reminds me, do you feel that you owe at least part of your success to the loving support that your family has given you over the years?
Eminem: I don't owe nobody in my family nothin'.
Al: You don't owe nobody in your family nothing? Wow, that's a triple negative. Does that mean you do owe somebody in your family something?
Eminem: It's like, it's up to you to decide, you know?
Al: Oh, I almost forgot. I know it's your favorite, so I made you a Twinkie Weiner Sandwhich. 
Eminem: I knew you'd make it, I knew you'd make it.
Al: But, before I give it to you, I want you to answer me one simple question. What is the mathematical formula used to determine the area inside a pentadodecahedron?
Eminem: It's a simple formula, it's a simple formula.
Al: (with a disbelieving look) Alright, what is it?
Eminem: Y'know?
Al: No, I don't know. What is it?
Eminem: It's, it's, it's easy. I mean, the formula is, first of all, that, you know...
Al: Yeah, that's what I thought. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Eminem: Yeah, so I better just shut up.
Al: Umm, when was the last time you were completely deloused?
Eminem: Umm, s***, last year?
Al: Hmm. Well, I've been asking all the questions here. Are there any questions you want to ask me?
Eminem: How many times can you rhyme "tearin' me apart", "breakin' my heart"?
Al: Well, let's see. "Homer and Bart", "Medical chart", "Strawberry Tart", "Served a la carte", "Back to the start", "Post-modern art", "Plastic lawn dart", "Missing a part", "Humphrey Bogart", "Lighting a fart", and "Blue Light Specials each day at K-Mart". Eleven.
Eminem: You're being an a** ****, whatever.
Al: Jealous much? Hey, y'know, I, I was wondering, why weren't you at the Academy Awards to pick up your Oscar. Was your macromet class that night?
Eminem: Yeah.
Al: Bummer. But I noticed that youdid show up at the MTV awards and you almost got into a fight with Triumph, the insult comic dog. Were you afraid that a sock puppet was going to kick your butt?
Eminem: You know, that was the way I felt at the time, you know?
Al: Well, have you two patched things up or is your "rap war" still goin on?
Eminem: Yeah, it's still goin' on.
Al: That's too bad. Y'know, I ran into Triumph recently, and he wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're a really excellent rapper... for him to poop on. How does that make you feel?
Eminem: I don't know. It's like, I don't know. It doesn't necessarily hurt my feelings because I kind of expect it, you know what I'm sayin'.
Al: So, tell me, Marshall, how do you feel about censorship in music?
Eminem: I feel like, um, y'know, I, I really believe in freedom of speech. I can't even stress that enough. I feel like, especially, artistic expression. You know, I believe an artist should be an artist and be able to say whatever he wants to say, whether you think it's good or bad, you know?
Al: Uh huh. So you think, for example, if somebody wanted to do, oh, I don't know, a parody of somebody else's video, they should be able to artisticly express themselves and just do it?
Eminem: Umm...
Al: Oh, I'm just bustin' your chops. I know you said I couldn't do a video for my "Lose Yourself" parody, but hey, you know, it's your choice.
Eminem: Yeah, exactly, so...
Al: Just between you and me, though, don't you think my version of the song is just a little bit better than yours?
Eminem: And that's kinda what pisses me off.
Al: I knew it. Well, now I don't have a video to promote  my new album, Poodle Hat, but as long as you're happy. You are happy, aren't you?  You're happy, right?  'Cause I sure want you to be happy!
Eminem: You're f****** crazy, you're crazy, for real, you're crazy.
Al: Well, since I don't have a video for it, and since this is my stinkin' show, what do you say we just wit here and listen to the whole stinkin' song right now?

Look 
If you had
One shot 
To sit on your lazy butt 
And watch all the TV you ever wanted 
Until your brain turned to mush 
Would you go for it? 
Or just let it slip? 

Yo
Remote is ready 
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty 
There's Flintstones on the TV already 
Wilma 'n' Betty 
No virgin to channel surfin' 
And I'm HD-ready 
So I flip 
Garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell 
Who folks wanna disembowel 
He opens his mouth 
Always says something foul 
They're dyin', wow 
Wannabes are crying now 
He votes them out 
Time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality 
Oh, the humanity! 
Oh, Ozzy's family 
Sho' loves profanity 
Whoa, the insanity 
Oh, dogs that crap and pee 
Home of depravity? 
No, they live happily 
Yo
Plus "Da Ali G Show" 
And "Celebrity Mole" 
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole

Al: Oh, what's the matter? Don't you like it?
Eminem: No, uh, it's, it's just, it's ridiculous, it's repetitive and it just, it gets on my nerves.
Al: Ehh, gimme a break. I could only change the words. I couldn't change the music, too.
Eminem: I just think that, umm, it's sissy music.
Al: Really? Well, then I imagine you'd really like it.
Eminem: Oh, you didn't just say that, you little b****.
Al: Oh, come on, Marshall. You came out of the closet years ago. Don't be so coy.
Eminem: That was my personal business, you know what I'm sayin'?
Al: Marshall, it's OK. You can talk about it now. Do you remember what it was like when you first came out?
Eminem: Umm, like, when I first came out, when I first came out, I noticed the difference, like, when I first came out, I came out, when I came out, not many people understood me or understood where I was coming from.
Al: That must've been tough. Y', y'know, I have to admit I, I was a little bit nervous about doing this interview.
Eminem: Relax, guy, I like gay men, you know.
Al: That's great, but I, I'm not gay.
Eminem: I don't believe that.
Al: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not. What, do you find me attractive or something?
Eminem: Maybe I do.
Al: Wait, are, are you hitting on me?
Eminem: Yeah.
Al: Uhh...
Eminem: You don't have anything to say?
Al: Well, hhh, I'm flattered, I guess, but I'm just really not interested. Why don't you go hit on Brad Pitt or something?
Eminem: Yeah, he's cute, but isn't he married though?
Al: Yeah, I guess so. But look, I, I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression. I, I just asked you here so I could interview you. That's all.
Eminem: Well, what the f***, this is bull s*** to me.
Al: Hey, calm down. I, I just wanted to talk to you about your music. Y', y'know, I happen to think you're very talented and you have a lot of potential for growth. I, I, I see your talent as a-as kind of a little acorn seed. And when that acorn seed is, is planted and watered and nurtured and allowed to grow, do you know what it eventually becomes?
Eminem: A f*****' tree.
Al: Yeah. Do you think you might possibly have Tourette's Syndrome?
Eminem: You know, fff, you know, this f*****' whatever, you know.
Al: You've got a little potty mouth, don't you.
Eminem: I don't believe that nobody can not swear.
Al: You don't believe that nobody can not swear. Wow, another triple negative.  Does that believe that you do believe that somebody c... oh, never mind. So, how do you feel about clean rappers like Will Smith?
Eminem: I used to respect Will Smith and when he came out and started talkin' about, you know, he s..., he dissed the whole gender of, of, of rap.
Al: The whole "gender" of rap. Are you sure you don't mean "genre"? I, I mean, I, I don't want to second guess you or anything. Uhh, you are the Oscar-winning, critically aclaimed wordsmith and all.Umm, so,you're a big fan of the gender of rap, then?
Eminem: That is one of the most influencial musics out there.
Al: Very well spoken. Well, speaking of rap, we're gonna have to "wrap" up this little interview. Ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Eminem: (silently points, confused)
Al: Y'know, I'm actually free after the show. You wanna, maybe, go out and do something later?
Eminem: We'll get, we'll get a, we'll get some decent looking dudes, and we'll, we'll...
Al: No, Marshall, I told you, I'm not into that. How 'bout if we just go just bowling instead?
Eminem: Alright.
Al: Great. Well, thanks for coming on the show. By the way, in case you didn't know, ha ha ha, ah, I'm just playin', Marshall. You know I love you.
Eminem: Right.
Al: We'll be right back.

천하의 Eminem도 Yankovic한테는 속수무책이더라. 법정 소송까지 갔었음.
초반에 나오는 you know what I'm saying (유노와람쎔으로 들리는)말은 흑인들이 대화중에 정말 정말 자주하는 말로써 특별히 해석을 안해도 되는 말. 
백인인 Eminem이 흑인영어를 구사하는 것을 노골적으로 Yankovic이 비꼬고 있음.